Many wedding couples have never really danced together much less on an empty dance floor in front of an audience, a camera, a video camera and on the most special day of their lives!
While this experience can be intimidating for anyone, from another perspective, it is actually a wonderful opportunity. With just a little planning, your first dance can be one of the most special moments of your entire wedding, remembered and cherished by you and your guests. Seriously, think about it, what can be more moving than a perfect dance between two people who truly love one another?
Here are 4 simple tips to consider as you plan your wedding dance:
1. Be constantly mindful of the ultimate objective: Many couples place too much pressure on themselves by believing that their first dance needs to be a grammy-worthy production fit for "Dancing with the Stars". Firstly, if you are not a competent dancer, this kind of pressure is just unnecessary, particularly since you have many other things to worry about. Secondly, this isn't what a first dance is meant to be. People don't want to blown away by a broadway production - they want to see the real you! (you may want to read that again.)
This means that they want to share a special moment with you. Some ladies say, "I hope I don't cry at this wedding!", when in fact they would just love to be at a wedding that is so moving as to bring them to tears (and wouldn't you love to see it!) People love... love! This is what needs to be expressed in your wedding dance, not professional-level technique. The dance must look natural and just like any professional sports star who looks like "a natural", you will need to practice to create this impression.
2. Don't leave it until the last minute: Yes, a simple 1-2 minute dance may not seem like much to prepare for but in order to appear flawless yet natural, you will need practice. We have coached couples with only 2-4 weeks left before the "big day", however, this really does not allow for adequate preparation and certainly is not adequate for creating the ideal wedding dance. So rather start earlier than later - once you learn the dance, you can always suspend (or reduce) your coaching sessions, allowing you more time for other parts of the wedding planning. Actually, spending time learning to dance will most likely be one of the most rewarding and enjoyable parts of your wedding planning process. It can be a shelter from the endless "To Do" lists, if you approach it in a fun way. If you are not good dancers, there is no harm in starting right now!
3. Aim for Significance: Your first dance can potentially go in two extreme directions: the first, you dance to a song that is emotional and significant, bringing back memories or welling up tears in most of your guests (because they see real love.) The two of you look relaxed and natural and your guests remember it fondly. The second direction is a little darker, which you may have seen before: The dance looks awkward as the two of you step in endless circles, as you "high school sway" your way through the song, praying for the end to come OR the dance looks too rehearsed as you break out your own version of the argentine tango (except both of you are from Scottsdale, AZ , of Irish, American and German heritage, not likely to ever visit Argentina..or ever do the tango again!) OR your dance is a painfully , elaborate (and artificial) affair that has your guests uncomfortably, headed for the buffet rather than lining up for their turn on the floor.
Making a dance significant means making the wedding dance about the two of you. Yes, a spicy, Argentine Tango may look cool but does it really reflect who you are as a couple? (particularly if the two of you are from Phoenix, AZ.) Opportunities to make a first dance unique and expressive of your unique relationship include your selection of wedding music. Perhaps there is a song that has significance to the two of you, your families or friends. Remember, the dance must seem like you have done it before - it must look like it is a natural interaction between the two of you - aim for credible rather than broadway-style-incredible!
4. Think about your guests!: Firstly, don't assume that your guests can dance. Secondly, don't assume that your guests enjoy the same music as you. Think carefully about your selection of wedding music, taking care to play music that is more appealing to the older folks earlier in the event (as they tend to leave earlier.) Also, if you plan to include your groom or bridal party in the dancing, you may want to recommend or offer them some dance lessons (yes, we do offer group rates for such scenarios.)
There are many dance studios in the Phoenix, Scottsdale, Cave Creek, Paradise Valley and Arizona area where you can take wedding dance lessons. As always, we urge you to shop around, however, we don't think you'll find a better dance studio for your wedding dance than Gainey Dance. Our approach is simple, effective and affordable. Please feel free to call or stop by to discuss planning your Perfect First Dance!
